ASK THE THERAPIST

Dear Peg,
When people ask me for help I always say “yes” regardless of how inconvenient, but when I need something everyone is always too busy!   Should I get new friends? Thanks, NR

Hi NR,

Great question and not uncommon! Saying yes when you want to say no does more harm than good. It is such a great recipe for burnout and resentment potentially damaging your relationships to the point of extinction creating the very thing we fear the most! We all need love and connection and we all fear losing it.

So, why DO you “always” say yes?  What do you fear will happen if you say no? Do you fear losing friends? Do you fear not being liked? Are you afraid to hurt their feelings? On the other hand do you keep score, make yourself feel justified and add your yeses to your arsenal for a prepared attack?  
It’s a mix of intention, honesty and values. Here is an easy way to break this resentment building pattern and create stronger relationships at the same time. Before you say Yes to the next invitation or request ask yourself:  Am I saying yes out of fear or out of love? Here's what I mean. Yesterday I was asked to table for a non-profit organization.  It was a Sunday, which typically is reserved for time at home.  I made the decision to go, but not out of fear: “I better say yes or they will think I am not dedicated” but, rather out of my love to help and contribute to that cause.  Do you see the difference?  I have said no to friends, family and work and I KNOW it is not easy or comfortable, but guess what?  They are still in my life and they still love me!  If you lose love and friendships because of this then it may not have been an honest and authentic relationship to begin with.

Use this question for all of your situations.  If you honestly want to say yes but feel time consumed you need to decide what and how to prioritize.  If you decide you can’t or honestly do not want to do something it’s OKAY! Be honest with yourself and your loved ones.  I would much rather have someone honestly and kindly say no to me than have them not fully present and secretly building resentment; wouldn’t you? 

“A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.” Mahatma-Gandhi

Got a question for my next issue? Email it to me! 

Live More Everyday! :)
P

 

HOW TO IGNITE YOUR HOLIDAY SPIRIT!

The best way to ignite your holiday spirit is to GIVE it away! Contributing to others is a way to truly feel fulfilled and holiday time is a great time to get started. There are so many humans and non humans that need our help.  Do you have a favorite cause? For me it's animal activism and domestic violence advocacy, but for you it might be something else. It's ALL good! What is your cause? You will be most effective and feel the best advocating in an area you are passionate about. To figure out what that means for you, ask yourself:

1. What do I love? What am I passionate about?
2. What social conditions make me feel sad or mad?
3. What are my strengths/how can they be utilized in this area?
4. What are others doing about it/can I join them?
5. How can I start making a difference in this area right now?

If everyone picked just ONE thing that they feel for and found even a small way to contribute to it imagine what could be accomplished! Don't think one person can't make a huge difference; YOU DO MATTER! YOU ARE NEEDED! 

Here is a great resource to get you started by finding opportunities in your area! http://www.volunteermatch.org/

What is important to you? What is your cause? Would love to hear from you! Comment below or find me on FB and Twitter! Happy Holidays! 

Rise and Shine! 
Peg
 

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R, CCT, AADP
Owner of Fear To Freedom Holistic Psychotherapy

Holistic Psychotherapist, Anxiety Specialist and Vegan Health and Lifestyle Coach

Connect with me! FB  Twitter

Visit my website and grab your free Stress and Anxiety Toolkit! 

HOLIDAY HUMMUS

I love making hummus and I don't measure or follow a recipe anymore, but this is a good base.  Once you make it enough times you will start to find that "just right" amount of ingredients for your personal taste. I have been known to be very generous with the garlic and tahini :)
Once you have your base, have fun and add your favorite spices. I love smoked paprika, chili powder, cumin, turmeric just to name a few. Have fun! 

BASE:
1 15 oz can of chickpeas drained
Juice of one lemon
1/3 C Tahini 
3 cloves garlic
1/4 C EVO (optional)
1/2 C Water. Add a little at a time to adjust to your ideal consistency
1/2 tsp of sea salt. Fresh ground pepper to taste

Place all the ingredients in a food processor. Add water as needed a tablespoon or so at a time. You want a smooth creamy consistency, not too watery, not too dry.
Place in a decorative bowl, drizzle with a bit of extra virgin olive oil, sprinkle with paprika and a sprig of parsley.

Serve with your favorite raw vegis, toasted or warmed pita bread or Mary's Gone Crackers

TIPS:
Serve immediately if possible, I find it is more flavorful at room temp.
If you need a bigger batch double everything, but instead of 2 cans of chickpeas try 1 can chickpeas and 1 can cannellini beans.

I would love to know! What are your favorite add ins? Comment below, post or tweet! 


Rise and Shine!
Peg

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R, CCT, AADP 

Holistic Psychotherapist, Anxiety Specialist,Vegan Health and Lifestyle Coach 

Connect with me!  FB  Twitter!

 
Owner of Fear To Freedom Holistic Psychotherapy
Visit my website and grab your free Stress and Anxiety Toolkit! 


 
 

3 STEPS TO EMOTIONAL FITNESS FOR CHRISTMAS

Are you emotionally unfit this holiday season? If you are dreading the holidays and not looking forward to the money sucking, weight gaining, and crazy making here are three simple things you can easily do to go from bah humbug to a holly jolly holiday:

 1. MOVE! No, I don't mean running away and moving out of town for the holiday season, I mean MOVE your body! Chances are if you are feeling less than stellar it's showing in your body. Are you moving a little slower, dragging your feet? Do you have your grumpy scrooge face on? You may not even realize your doing it, but I bet your loved ones do! You know what to do; stand up straighter, breathe deeper, SMILE! Don't underestimate the power of movement. Go ahead, turn on some tunes, dance, smile, laugh!
When you change your physiology you change your emotional state in an instant!

2.   Adopt An Attitude of GRATITUDE:  What are you focusing on? If you are focusing on your never ending list, and everything you don't have then of course you feel like crap! You cannot feel bad and grateful at the same time. Whatever is wrong in your life there is also something that is right. Focus on that and you will feel immediate relief.

3.  Adopt A PAY IT FORWARD MINDSET: Do you remember the book and the movie? It's all about giving without expecting anything in return. It's about the powerful ripple effect giving to others can create. It's cheap too!  Be mindful and look for opportunities instead of being mindless and missing the action. We are often so busy we don't even see what's right in front of us. With a pay if forward mindset, you will be the one who notices the elderly person struggling to walk,  you will notice the short person who can't reach the top shelf at the grocery store .It may be a little thing to you, but it's those little things that matter most sometimes.

So there you have it: Move, Be Grateful and Give; three simple, specific, and self controlled things you can do right NOW that will make this holiday season better than ever. Keep it going beyond the holidays and you will have a life that is better that ever too!

Live More Everyday :)
P

GREAT NEWS!

Hi All,

I believe that in order to overcome challenges such as stress/anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, whatever the challenge that makes you pick up that phone to call me, I know that to get the results you are seeking it’s necessary to have optimal emotional AND physical health. The quality of our health is related to the quality of our life.  I arm you with plenty of skills, tools and strategies for a healthy mindset, but that doesn’t do much good if you are sick and tired all the time!  

 I offer you the tools I believe bring the best results for emotional health; Cognitive Therapy and Strategic Intervention.  I want to be able to deliver the same quality tools and knowledge for your body too!

If you follow me on facebook, twitter or my blog you already know my interest in health. I decided to increase this knowledge in a formal training program. I am excited to tell you that I am currently enrolled at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I am receiving very detailed and careful instruction on how to coach others around food and lifestyle choices. I will be able to incorporate this into my existing work much more in depth. I will work with you on how to reach your health goals, including stress reduction, increasing energy, losing weight (for good) and improving your confidence and overall emotional health.  

I look forward to sharing more with you about my journey. I will be inviting people to health consultations in the near future to have the opportunity to support them to create a life everyone deserves not one on reserve! 

I hope you are well and look forward to talking with you soon!   Warmly, Peg  

                                  YOUR LIFE AT ITS BEST

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R is a Certified Cognitive Therapist, Robbins-Madanes Coach and Relationship Educator residing in Upstate New York.  

Her passionate mission is to help people overcome anxiety and other life challenges using a holistic approach and to do her part to create a shift from a reactive, symptom-driven, disease approach to a proactive, practical, empowering, and all natural approach.   

Learn more about Peg and her services:

www.PegHaust.com  

www.LiveMoreLifeCoaching.com 
Connect with her:

Facebook 

Twitter

UPW 2012: UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN

I just arrived home from my very first UPW experience. For those of you who don't know UPW is one of Anthony Robbin's live events. If you know me, you know this has been a goal since 2008.  I embarked on this adventure with my dear and awesome friend Joleene Des Rosiers Moody and it was just that an ADVENTURE! And let me tell you it wasn't ALL easy peazy there was some serious soul digging, mind bending stuff going on!
My journey didn't start out easy either.  If you know me, you know I have a history of anxiety challenges and now help others overcome theirs. But, on the way to the airport, my old driving fear was reactivated while on the thruway! NOT GOOD! What does this mean?! Does it mean I'm not supposed to go? Is this my intuition or my fear??!! I quickly reminded myself that I am getting out of my comfort zone and the anxiety was my old pattern trying to keep me in it! Well, I am not having it! For good measure, I got on the phone and called another kick ass friend Heather Paris who reinforced what I already knew: "It's because you're living Peg!" Yes, Heather, yes indeed!
The flight was great and we found ourselves seated next to a woman who was also on her way to the event small world? Coincidence? Hours later we made it to sunny Orlando and we were on our way to our hotel. 

 We registered early and had time before the event started. Good opportunity for Joleene to catch a nap for she had the not so perfect timing of getting sick and not getting good sleep the night before. Good opportunity for me to find some much needed nourishment. But, I found myself wandering aimlessly in search of food. I managed to find some fruit and nuts, but greens seemed to be an endangered species! Come on food industry STEP UP!

When we first walked into the very LARGE convention center we couldn't resist a cheezy photo
opp with the big guy.


 We had good seats, but it was COLD!!! So cold that the welcome bag of goodies made sure to include gloves! Poor Joleene missed part of it to literally run to Walgreens for thermal under clothes and we brought the hotel blankets! But, we did not need them when we MOVED. And there was a lot of moving! I love to dance and at one point we were directed (?) commanded (?)  to play air guitar to ZZ Top; I was in my zone!

Day one prepared us for the firewalk. The firewalk is not about walking on fire, but rather a metaphor to know that one can persevere and get through the inevitable "fires" of life. All four days are geared toward one thing: helping us to breakthrough  challenges and patterns that keep us stuck.
I went to UPW to hone my skills as a Robbins-Madanes Coach, to experience the tools and techniques that I have learned through my training with RMT. I accomplished that, and so much more! I met amazing people. I left with a new excitement for creating and serving; serving my clients, taking care of my family and friends and taking care of me! Yes, it challenged me, it shook up my old fears, but that was just some  growing pains and we need growing pains because what doesn't grow......

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Cognitive Therapist and Robbins-Madanes Life Coach and Relationship Educator residing in Upstate New York.  

Her passionate mission is to help people overcome anxiety and other life challenges using a holistic approach and to do her part to create a shift from a reactive, symptom-driven, disease mindset approach to a proactive, practical, empowering, all natural approach for emotional wellness.    

Learn more about Peg and her services at www.PegHaust.com  

www.LiveMoreLifeCoach.com 
Connect with her on Facebook 

                                  Twitter

                         

A HOLISTIC APPROACH TO MENTAL HEALTH

What is a holistic approach? You may have heard the terms holistic approach used to coin an alternative way of treating physical disorders in the medical field.  Acupuncture and chiropractic treatments are two examples.  I hesitate to use the word “alternative,” because as time goes on these treatments are becoming mainstream and much more accepted in our culture.  In fact, [1]According to CNN one-half of all medical schools now offer courses in holistic health care.

A holistic approach to mental health treatment incorporates the whole person; mind, body and spirit.  From this perspective, all three are intertwined working together, not independently. What affects one affects the other.  Let’s say you start psychotherapy because you are experiencing excessive anxiety and depression. After a thorough assessment, the therapist learns that the person is also struggling with recurring colds, low energy and an overall unhealthy feeling. Working with a therapist on a psychological level alone may be beneficial to an extent, but it might be difficult to stay motivated to do the work when feeling sick and tired all the time.   

What might one expect from a mental health practitioner incorporating mind, body and soul into their practice? Below is a brief description of each component and what it may entail.  

The psychology of emotions is what all mental health practitioners focus on using one approach or an eclectic mix of approaches. “Talk therapy,” is a therapist helping one to overcome emotional challenges or work through life stressors using their preferred psychological approach. Some therapists only address one’s psychology much like some medical practitioners only address one’s biology.  There are many options from traditional psychotherapy approaches to energy therapies. Do your research and find a good fit for you. Some common approaches: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behaviorial Therapy (DBT), Psychodynamic Therapy, Humanistic Therapy, Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Family Systems, Human Needs Psychology, Strategic Intervention (SI), Neuro Linquistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) just to name a few.    

As mentioned earlier, it’s difficult to feel emotionally well when feeling sick and tired all the time. But, is there a connection? The holistic approach believes there is and a therapist who practices this approach will make sure to ask questions about current physical activity and nutrition habits.  Depending on his/her background the therapist may help clients to understand the food/mood connection and make suggestions or they may offer referrals to experts in the fields of holistic nutrition, acupuncture, chiropractic medicine, yoga, Reike and others. 

Is your spirit soaring or do you feel spiritually spent? Renewing your soul is vital to a happy fulfilling life. A holistic therapist incorporates the spirit and explores with the client personalized ways to revitalize passion for life so often missing in people. A good therapist will work from the client's belief system to help them create the fulfillment in life that they deserve.

      The greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.”  

      Lao Tzu

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Cognitive Therapist and Robbins-Madanes Life Coach and Relationship Educator residing in Upstate New York.  

Her passionate mission is to help people overcome anxiety and other life challenges using a holistic approach and to do her part to create a shift from a reactive, symptom-driven, disease mindset approach to a proactive, practical, empowering, all natural approach for emotional wellness.    

Learn more about Peg and her services at www.PegHaust.com

                         

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[1] [1]Citation: Disabled World News (2009-01-16) - The World Health Organization estimates 65 - 80 percent of the population use holistic naturopathic medicine as a primary form of health care: http://www.disabled-world.com/medical/alternative/holistic/care-statistics.php#ixzz20tXUkooJ