Monday, February 10, 2014


February 2014 already! This is a big year for me because I turn the big 5-0 this month! Yep, 1964. I am the youngest of the boomers. My husband, being younger than me, is the oldest of the Gen Xers. Hmm... which sounds better? 

Seriously, milestone birthdays can bring up scary stuff for some people. It did for me when I turned 40. Do you know what I'm talking about? The dreaded questions start, questions that make us feel anxious and worried. Questions and statements like: “I’m turning...., is it too late for me to....? Or, I'm too old to...."  What did you fill those blanks with? Too late to start a new career? Too old to get in shape? How you think, what you believe, and the meaning you give anything is VITAL because it's going to determine how you FEEL and how you FEEL is going to determine what you DO. What you DO is going to determine the quality of your life. The quality of your life now and for the years to come.
From the Huff Post, I looked up which celebrities are turning 50 this year. I am in some pretty good company!

I wanted to see what THEY were saying:
Michelle Obama: "I have never felt more confident in myself, more clear on who I am as a woman. But, I am constantly thinking about my own health and making sure that I’m eating right and getting exercise and watching the aches and pains. I want to be this really fly 80-90-year old.
Go Michelle! I hope our gracious first lady is thinking of her health in an empowering way and not getting too freaked out about it. The word BUT in her statement makes me wonder that. "But, I am constantly thinking..." Notice the feeling of that statement when you change the BUT to AND. It changes it to an empowering perspective, see? Practice using the word AND instead of BUT and see how that feels for you.
Elle MacPherson: "I don't believe that youth equals beauty or beauty equals youth. How I feel, how well I am is more important to me."
YES! That belief will and does create your reality Elle!
Russell Crow joked about his "creaky old joints" when talking about his role as Superman's father. 
Be careful Russell, we feel what we focus on! ;)
About turning 40 Keanu Reeves said: "I'm feeling my age and I've ordered the Ferrari. I'm going to get the whole midlife crisis package." 
I wonder if his perspective has changed now that he turns 50 this year too. Yes, I too went through a "midlife crisis" at 40 however, I now prefer to look at it as a midlife re-awakening! Choose your words wisely! 
And then we have the beautiful Christie Brinkley and the great Lady O turning 60 this year! 
Christie states what I encourage myself and others to practice everyday; the power of NOW:
"No matter what your age is, you only have now. So it's always about living in the moment and being in the moment...I refuse to let those numbers define me and I just try to face each day positively."
YES! YES! YES! Love her!

And of course, Oprah is forever wise:  
No matter where you are on your journey, that’s exactly where you need to be. The next road is always ahead.”
— Oprah
As for me? This time, I choose to be excited about 50 (unlike 40). I choose the meaning and the focus because I know that how I feel and what I do will highly impact how I age and how I will continue to age. No, it's NOT about denial, but rather seeing circumstances as they are and knowing what is in my control and what is not.  I can choose youthful thoughts or "old beyond my years" thoughts. Thanks to my mom the phrase: "I am getting old" is foreign language to my brain. The truth is, we can choose to allow those old BS (Belief System/Bull Shizit) stories (and we all got them), of not being young enough, smart enough, or whatever enough to rule our heads OR, we can choose to appreciate our wisdom, appreciate what still works in our body and I for one, can embrace my wrinkles! Okay, of course, that does not mean I'm not shopping for the best skin care right? Let's not get crazy! :) I can choose to fuel my body with food that will keep me alive as opposed to food that is dead in a box. We really are what we think AND eat.  I will also not forget to grow my spirit by nourishing my relationships and to look for ways to give back that present themselves every day.  
The years will go by. 1 year, 5 years, 10, and 50 years are going to come no matter what. That we cannot control. So, how do you want to be living them when they get here? Like Michelle, I want to be a really fly 80-100+ year old!
 I want to hear from you! How will/do you age? Will you embrace it, conquer it, surrender to it or deny it? Which will you choose?

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R, CCT, AADP, CPNLP is a certified cognitive therapist, strategic interventionist, NLP Practitioner, and health coach.

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