Spring Cleaning For Your Mind, Body and Spirit

Woo Hoo! It's been a long time coming, but Spring has finally sprung! I love cleaning out the closets and getting rid of stuff I don't use and giving my car and home a good tuneup. It feels amazing to de-clutter and organize doesn't it?  Why just stop there? Imagine the results of doing some cleaning up and tuning up for YOU, for your mind, body and spirit! Here are just a few quick and easy Spring Cleaning Tips that will leave you feeling amazing inside and out: 

MIND: It's time to clean up your stinkin thinkin!

It feels great to de-clutter the junk in the house, and when you clear out the  junky mind clutter, those automatic thoughts that create nothing but cobwebs, you will decrease your stress. We all know the effects stress can have on our health. If you continue to practice the following tip, you will break some bad thought habits and build emotional muscle to support overall good health. Sometimes we don't realize how our negative thinking is affecting us or that we are even thinking negatively at all. We humans have 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day! How many do you think are creating stress or bad moods? 
Here is a fast and simple way to ditch the stinkin thinkin trap: 

1. Catch and Shoot:  I don't know much about basketball, but I do know that when you receive the ball you're not supposed to hold it long. You have to hold for a bit to look for a strategically positioned player, but then you have to shoot. The next time you find yourself feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed or frustrated it's because you have caught a big ball of thoughts and you are holding them. Next time catch your thoughts. Observe your thoughts because this will build awareness and awareness is the first key. CATCH the ball by asking yourself: "What was I thinking just before I started to feel this way?" Just asking this question is good because it interrupts the negative dialogue pattern.  HOLD the ball, but just long enough to determine your next strategic action. Ask yourself:  "Is that thought true, is it possible it could mean something else entirely? What is a different perspective? Now you have a choice. You can HOLD the ball and continue to keep the thoughts that are causing distress OR you can SHOOT the ball! You can shoot that thought right out of the playing field if you can find a new meaning or simply acknowledge that it was a ridiculous thought. I have had a few of those and I bet you have too! See the truth or give it a new meaning and feel the difference. Sometimes simply catching and changing one word is enough. Here is an example I use all the time: Have you ever found yourself stressed out with all your responsibilities? I HAVE to do this, I HAVE to do that. Try this: Change HAVE to GET. Kinda changes everything doesn't it?

BODY: Release toxins and rejuvenate your health! A whole food cleanse will do your body good! It will jump start you to:

•      Reduce inflammation
•      Lose weight naturally
•      Increase your energy
•      Sleep better
•      Boost your metabolism
•      Improve your mood

If you don't want to do a full 7 day program, just adding more whole foods to your day will make a difference. An easy way to do this is by adding just one smoothie to your day. Download my FREE Smoothie Party which includes 7 smoothie recipes for 7 days. If you want to commit to a seriously delicious and results driven Spring Cleaning this year you can purchase and download my DIY Home study Clean Eating Cleansing Program. 
Get your body moving! Movement is so important for overall wellness. Just a short walk with your dog is all you need. Your dog will thank you too! Yes, gardening counts. I love to take my fur kids for walks around the property and exercise at home with DVDs. You need to find something YOU enjoy or you won't do it. Consistency and a set routine will create a new habit and before you know it you will WANT to move every day. I just read that dancing makes you smarter so what a way to improve your body, mind AND spirit! Make it easy, make it fun.

SPIRIT: It's time to shine!

In my holistic practice when I hear someone say that they feel lost or dead inside or without purpose, I help them understand that it's not that they are lost or without purpose, but it certainly can feel that way when they are not feeding their spirit. Ask yourself: "What area(s) of my life need attention, What needs reorganization?Is there anything or anyone in my life that I am allowing to dim my spirit? What needs to go or what am I missing? For example, are you involved in a relationship that you know has been hurting you, but you can't find the courage to leave? Are you choosing to have people in your life that bring you down instead of build you up? Have you forgotten about your dreams and goals, have you been too busy to do what you love or be with who you love. What can you do now that will turn up the light even a little? How can you grow, how can you give to yourself and others? The possibilities are endless and remember it's the seemingly small stuff that often times is really the big stuff. 
 

Allow light, joy and fun in! It's already here. It's already within you, all you need is some good Spring Cleaning.

Shine bright,

Peg

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R 

Holistic Psychotherapist, Anxiety Specialist and Life Strategist  

Questions about me or my services? I would love to hear from you!

Connect with me on FB and Twitter


Visit my website and grab your free Stress and Anxiety Toolkit! 

 

Happy NO MORE RESOLUTIONS New Year!

Resolutions Be Gone!  

Have you been thinking about what you want to change, start or end this January? New Year resolutions are popular, but like diets they don't work. January is a great time for fresh starts, but that is very different than a resolution. Resolution means to resolve to do something "once and for all." What did you resolve to do last year? Is it on your list again? I want to share something different for you this year. Something that is just as fresh, but way more fun! 

I really look forward to this yearly ritual.  Use the steps below to kick start your dreams and goals and then next year and every year moving forward, it will be a tool to keep momentum going, not to resolve, but to reflect, assess, test, reassess and grow! 

Here I am hunkering down with favorite pen in hand, great music playing, homemade NOG, (do you like my Ball canning jar wine glass?) all of last year's notes and calendars along with new ones, and of course the boys right beside me.  Join me!

7 STEPS TO SUCCESS! 


1. Get Ready. Create your own comfy space that's inspiring and comfortable for you. Give yourself at least a couple hours of uninterrupted time. Shut off the phone and remove all distractions. This is your time, you deserve it! 

2. Identify Your "Whats" Identify an area(s) of your life that you would like to see change and/or grow for the coming year. Do you want to get serious about your health this year? Do you want to buckle down financially? Maybe you want to focus on a personal development goal.  Write down the area of life you chose and then rate yourself on a 0-10 scale where you are now. For example, 0 is not met at all, and 10 is exactly where you want to be. 

3. Describe Your 10:  You can make it a list or a descriptive paragraph. Be specific and ask yourself:  "How will I know I reached my 10? 
Example:
Health 0-10  Current score 5
What's my 10? I will know that I reached my 10 when... I feel more consistent energy throughout the day, experience restful sleep, have lost 10 lbs.  Make your goals reasonable and attainable. You don't want to set yourself up for the impossible and hurt yourself trying to get there. On the other hand, don't limit yourself. Too often people way underestimate what is possible for them. Is that you? Ask yourself: "Do I know of anyone that has started where I am and has accomplished similar results?" If they can do it, so can you! 

4. Identify Your Reasons. Once you have narrowed down a list of things you want to accomplish in the year ahead, WHY do you want that? Motivation works, but it's temporary. That is exactly why resolutions don't work. This is an important step you cannot leave out so read this carefully... 
Having great reasons will continuously pull you forward. Without them you will eventually and slowly walk back to where you started again. 

Ask yourself: What will your life look like when you reach your goal? How will it affect you? How will it benefit you? What will it mean to others in your life? What will it mean for your life? Not just this year, but forever!

Tweet! "For lasting change, know your reasons to get you through the seasons." @PegHaust 


5.  Calendar Time! Get out the calendars. I still like good ol' pen and paper. I like the planners that show the whole month with the days of the month having large squares for lots of writing space. Set a date and affirm your intention: 
By February 15, I will have released five pounds.  By May, I will be at my ideal weight of... AFFIRM: "I easily maintain a healthy lifestyle that supports me and my family."

6. Commit AND Take Action. What do you need to do?  Whose support do you need? Make a list of SIMPLE and SPECIFIC action steps to reach your goal. 


My Personal Example:

• 20 to 45 minutes of exercise: Sun, Mon, Fri, Sat mornings. 
• Take a few 1 minute meditation breaks at my desk during work.
• Hold a 30 second to 2 minute plank (yoga pose) during commercial breaks and periodically at my desk during work.
• Do a whole food cleanse to learn how to eat healthy and jump start my goal.
• Drink 1 homemade green smoothie every week day.
• Dance breaks! Great bursts of fitness while cooking and writing blogs :) 
• Drink water! Drink full glass of water before a.m. coffee and have a water bottle (with lemons) on my desk throughout the day. 

I tend to be a list maker. It works for me. But, don't get overwhelmed by your list! Chunk it down and give yourself "done by dates" and don't list too many things for one day. Also, I can't emphasis routine enough. Plan a routine and follow it. By 20-30 days you should be in the groove nicely. Anything and everything can become a routine. Make sure your routines are good for you! Repetition is key.  

7. BE FLEXIBLE! You know what they say about the best laid plans... If things go off course, that is okay! This example showed how to get started, but when you do this every year it is also time for reflection. It a time to celebrate every success large and small, and a time to assess and reassess. Look at what worked and look at what didn't. There is no failure, only feedback. Learn from what happened, test and measure and continue on.  

Try these 7 steps for any and all areas of your life: Health, fitness, finances, personal development, relationships, retirement planning, new life transitions, anywhere you want to grow. And make sure you focus on simple, doable and FUN or else you won't do it and you know it! 

Extra tip: Be aware of your stinkin thinkin; self defeating thoughts that make you want to give up (and they will show up!) "Oh, this won't work, I've tried this before, this is too hard!"  You create your experience and emotional state with your thoughts.  Like a basketball, catch those thoughts and shoot them; don't hold the ball!  

Lastly, I'll say it again, remember the why behind your wants and then you will see them come into fruition. It's not about the end result, it's about continued growth. By designing your best life, you are not only enhancing your life, you are positively affecting your loved ones and everyone around you. You are creating progress that is not only good for you, but also inevitably good for all. 

It doesn't get better than that.

Have a wonderful time and please feel free to contact me. I would love to hear about your dreams and goals! 

 
Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R
Therapist, Coach, Author

Get a free excerpt from my book: Anxiety Breakthrough at my website! PegHaust.com

 

Get Serious About Your Happiness

I think of myself as a happy person.  Now, I don't mean I'm happy all the time.  It's not that I never feel sad, frustrated, angry, hurt, scared, insecure......of course not. We need them all! Emotion is life and the good feeling ones come with the not so good feeling ones. I do believe, however, that we are meant to be happy and that it's necessary. With happiness at our core, we can pursue our true purpose in this life. So it's important and it makes sense to get serious about happiness. I suggest you decide to OWN it and drive that emotion into your core!

But how? How do you make happiness your "go to" emotion despite the dramas and traumas that we have all experienced and will inevitably continue to experience?  One way I have found is to hold happiness as one of my highest values. Most of us don't typically identify happiness as a value. We may identify family, friends, God, a strong work ethic, money, time for ourselves or contribution as values just to name a few. But, how these values show up in our lives, I believe, is directly related first, to the emotional states we value. So, if we don't highly value a great quality state of emotion like happiness or gratitude how can all those other values I mentioned be experienced positively and to their highest potential? I don't believe they can.

"There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion." Carl Jung

Here are come common happiness blockers. Really, they are just stories we tell ourselves don't buy them!
 Do you ever think or believe:

 "If I allow myself to be happy something bad will happen. If something bad happens I'll be devastated, it's better to be prepared."  (And I will prepare by worrying)

 "If I allow myself to feel and show happiness others might take advantage of me, or I might not be respected." (Happiness means weakness)

"I can't feel happy when everywhere I look people are so sad and struggling I would feel terribly guilty.  (Happiness is selfish)  

 We feel what we focus on, our experience of life is determined by the meaning we give things and the emotional states we choose to value.

There is so much we cannot choose in this life; so much we  have no control over. We cannot control what others do or say, we cannot control what they think of us or not think of us. We cannot control the all too real tragedy's that happen to people every day. BUT, we can 100% control the meanings we give all things, people, situations and events. We can choose our perceptions and our thoughts which ultimately create how we feel.  If we choose to value happiness, gratitude, joy, and peace (just to name a few) as our primary emotional values just think how that could impact all the other aspects of our lives, and the other great values we hold. It's a completely different world!  It's Freedom! the greatest value of all right? 

Happiness and gratitude: You need it, you deserve it, without it you won't grow or contribute to your true potential.   

  
It's holiday time again. I am always amazed how fast time flies. I always say that life is too short AND too long to feel stressed and unhappy all the time. Life is too good because it is! Where there is bad there is always good, where there is dark there is always light. What do you have to be happy about right now? What might you be taking for granted? The smallest things are most often the best things. What do you need to remember to feel happy and grateful? Dreading the family gathering? Shift that focus to what you can appreciate about the situation and the people. Don't leave anything out.

Right now, in this moment, see it, hear it, it's Thanksgiving, so smell it and taste it too!  NOW feel it! Got it? Feeling it?
I knew it; nothing bad happened! Now just do THAT feeling over and over and over.......  
You Got This!
Happy Thanksgiving! I am so grateful for YOU!!! 

Shine bright,
 Peg

Questions about me or my services? I would love to hear from you!

Connect with me on FB and Twitter!

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R 

Holistic Psychotherapist, Anxiety Specialist and Life Strategist 

Visit my website and grab your free Stress and Anxiety Toolkit! 

Secure Online Services in the Virtual Office!

 
I am happy to announce that I am now a provider of online therapy/coaching sessions.  Online sessions are becoming more and more popular and accessible. 

Are you a busy professional, parent, or student?
Are you struggling with anxiety that makes it difficult to drive?                         
Do you have a long commute to work or school?
Do you ever get stuck home because of the weather? 

MY Virtual Office May Be a Good Fit For You!

Did you know that online therapy sessions can be just as effective as face-to-face office sessions according to recent research?

I provide HIPAA compliant online therapy/coaching using a Secure Client Portal.  Enjoy the flexibility of scheduling sessions without leaving the comfort of your home. This option is available to my clients in New York State. So, whether you live locally or in Long Island or anywhere upstate or down, I am available to help!

This is a great option for college students living on campus, and for those times when the weather gets rough, and we New Yorkers know how that goes!! 

I love online therapy sessions because it saves you time and money and is super convenient. You save time and gas not having to commute to an office or leave home if you are snowed in or the kids are home from school. 

Questions about me or my services? I would love to hear from you! 

Connect with me on FB and Twitter!

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R 

Holistic Psychotherapist, Anxiety Specialist and Life Strategist 

 

Visit my website and grab your free report and free 6 part audio training Series! 




 

FROM FEAR TO FREEDOM: Awareness Is The First Step

Have you ever felt excited to start a new project, begin a new endeavor or take on a new challenge that you KNOW would be really great for you, but only to somehow get stuck again and again? Have you ever wondered why that happens?  

It’s FEAR! 

Fear can be our friend. Thankfully, we all have an instinctual mechanism that turns on the fight or flight response to real danger, but I'm talking about the kind of fear that is an illusion. The kind that lies to us and convinces us there is real danger. 

Sometimes fear is obvious and sometimes it’s not obvious at all. Let me explain. In my book:  In Pursuit of the Divine Written Stories To Empower A Woman's Soul,  I write about a seemingly meaningless episode I experienced in Kindergarten and how that was a seed that grew to a full blown Panic Disorder in adult hood.  If you have ever experienced excessive and irrational anxiety you will be familiar with the "fear of the fear" the fear of the symptoms and not having control over them.  That’s the obvious fear. Not so obvious, however, were deeper fears. Fears I held deeply in my core belief system; fears of not being enough. We all have this fear to some degree. Even the most confident among us! 

What I have come to understand and what has helped me so much is this quote by Marianne Williamson. It was one of my biggest a-ha moments and I share it with you now, so you can know this truth too:

Don't you love it? It was a life changer for me and I hope it speaks to you too! 

Sometimes fears are not obvious at all. Behaviors such as procrastination, spinning your wheels, feeling like you’re not accomplishing anything, keeping yourself out of relationships or repeatedly getting into relationships that are not good for you. Or when trying to lose weight, you might reach your goal weight, but for some reason can’t keep it off.  Of course, sometimes the reason is hormonal or medical, but you find yourself in situations where you just can't figure out why these patterns keep happening? Or, worse, you don't even question them. You accept that it is your reality.

I have been there too! And sometimes I can find myself visiting there still. But, NOW I understand it and know exactly what to do about it.

You see, once you understand that what is really happening is a specific mind set; a belief system (BS) that you have, stories that are untrue and BS that you have been telling yourself consciously and unconsciously (probably for years and probably not even from you originally). Once you get that, you are on your way to real and lasting freedom from the fears holding you back from the life you deserve. 

Life is meant to be lived in JOY NOT FEAR!  Fear that you are not enough, fear of failure, fear of being seen and heard, fear of getting emotionally hurt (again) is not allowing you to live fully. 

Awareness it the first key to change. Understanding the thought/mood connection is the first step. 

GET STARTED:

Start small with simply noticing and becoming aware of your thoughts and how they make you feel.  What I did many years ago was track my thoughts in a notebook. When I started to see them on paper I quickly became aware that what I was thinking was actually creating how I was feeling.  Oh, and don't get freaked out, we all have negative thoughts throughout the day and since we are focusing on them it's not unusual to feel even more of the emotion. That's normal. I had a lot of anxious thoughts back in the day creating tons of anxiety! You will start to see a clear correlation between your thoughts and your mood. That's good because you will understand that you have some control now. You will understand that your emotions are not just happening out of the blue, there is a thought first!
Once you have written down a thought statement, for example: "She didn't call me back yet, she must not care." Then ask yourself this question from Byron Katie's work: Is it true? Can I be 100% positive that that thought/belief is true? Next, ask yourself, What else could it mean? "Maybe she is just busy." Could that be true? We are starting with "automatic thoughts" (AT) here. When I work with a client, we start with these free flowing automatic thoughts and later we dig a bit deeper to the next two levels of thought, Assumptions and Core Beliefs. AT's are a great place to begin.
Remember, you can't change what you're not aware of! I hope you feel curious and try it out.

I would love to hear from you! 

I invite you to connect with me on FB and Twitter. 

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R, CCT, AADP, CPNLP is a Holistic Psychotherapist specializing in stress and anxiety.

Visit her website and grab your free report and free 6 part audio training Series! 

STRESS AND THE F FACTOR

As a cognitive therapist I help my clients understand that our thoughts are directly connected to our emotions; we feel what we think.  But, it's not just our mindset or thoughts that create how we feel,  it's also the F factor: FOOD. Not just the food we feed our bodies, but also the food we feed our spirits. It's how we feed the areas in our lives that matter; areas like our relationships, our family and friends, our careers, our personal growth and contribution to others. All these areas are vitally important when it comes to the state of our emotional well being. When we neglect them we die inside, or we may feel we are just existing wondering if there is more.  But when we nourish these areas of life it feeds our hearts and minds and we thrive!

Food that we eat and food for our soul go hand in hand. Consider times when life was not going well. Did you ever use food for comfort? If you're like most of us you have. And what's "comfort food" anyway? You know, those high carb, sugary and salty goodies that we all crave now and again especially when there's excess stress in our lives. The problem is it's a perpetuating cycle. Because of today's hectic lifestyle, the stress often leads to going for the junk food that doesn't serve us and that typically leads to crashing and burning which makes us go for more junk. The ups and downs in blood sugar creates turmoil for your emotional state. This may commonly show up with intensified feelings of anger, nervous tension, frustration, which in turn creates turmoil in your relationships, your job, your motivation... Round and round we go; our nerves go up and down, and sometimes so does the scale. Sound familiar? So yes, we feel what we eat!

Hey you know what? I am certainly not perfect. Perfect is boring and stupid anyway!  Food IS meant to be enjoyed and celebrated too! But, I know that there is a food and mood connection and understanding the F Factor is vital in becoming truly emotionally fit.

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R is a certified cognitive therapist, strategic interventionist, relationship educator, board certified health coach and soon to be author. 

Check out her websites and grab your free report:   
5 Mistakes You Don't Want to Make (Includes Bonus Recipes!)
www.PegHaust.com  
www.LiveMoreCoach.com
 

GOOD MOOD SNACK

Looking for a snack that's quick and easy to make, good for your body AND good for your brain too? Here is my trail mix that will make you happy and healthy.

Here's Why: 

Research shows that nuts and seeds just might boost your brainpower and balance your moods.

According to Professor James Duke, many varieties of seeds and nuts contain tryptophan, an important amino acid that the brain converts to serotonin. Roasted pumpkin seeds and dry sunflower seeds are an excellent source of tryptophan, making them a safe, natural way to relive mild depression and insomnia. Additionally, sunflower seeds are high in thiamine, an important B vitamin for memory and cognitive function.

Coconut oil provides an alternative fuel source that the brain can use to work optimally once again.

Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/040037_coconut_oil_alzheimers_disease_saturated_fats.html#ixzz2ehibCAip

Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/019885_nuts_and_seeds_cognitive_function.html#ixzz2ehfE64nC

Ingredients:
Raw sunflower seeds
Raw pumpkin seeds
Dried cranberries
Coconut flakes (unsweetened)


Directions: 
Toast the raw seeds in a non stick skillet on low to med flame. Keep the pan moving and tossing; it will only take a few minutes to get them golden brown.
Mix in the dried cranberries and coconut flakes.
Enjoy!  

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R is a certified cognitive therapist, strategic interventionist, relationship educator, board certified health coach and soon to be author. 

Check out her websites and grab your free report:
 5 Mistakes You Don't Want to Make (Includes Bonus Recipes!)
www.PegHaust.com  
www.LiveMoreCoach.com

ASK PEG

Today's Q&A is on a personal note. I get asked now and again why I decided to become a counselor, and why I specialize in anxiety?

At the risk of sounding cliche I must admit yes, counseling was my calling. Seriously, it called for me since age 17. I have a distinct memory of talking with a girl my age, an acquaintance at best, and she was sharing with me struggles and challenges she was going through.  I don't remember what I said or did, but I do remember her thanking me and saying very genuinely that I should be a counselor. That stuck with me always. So if this post should ever find you, thank you too! You affirmed for me what I only sensed was true.

I held on to that dream, but I didn't pursue it.  My story was that I had a public speaking phobia and that I was not smart enough so I couldn't possibly go to college. I did try, but was told that I didn't take the right classes; just more evidence that I was right.  Instead I went through life working various jobs. Some I loved, some not so much.  I became a hair stylist and dreamed of being a stylist to the stars! But, I didn't think I was good enough and of course, the best part was talking to the person in my chair about their life. I worked in factories, grocery stores, a vet hospital; all the while trying to find my groove.

My dream would literally not leave me. I was plagued with recurring dreams of walking down the hallways of my high school crying because I missed out on higher education.  I wanted to be a counselor for battered women and teen girls so, to compensate I became an advocate at the Victim's Resource Center. I loved it and I envied people who did this for a living! But again, always thinking: "I can't because..."  I had a million reasons.

Turning 30 was the turning point. I decided it was now or never. The pain of not pursuing my destiny was more painful than any anxiety right?  Besides, I will do what I do best, AVOID! I will avoid the classes that required public speaking, and if worse comes to worse I will have no problem accepting a zero for an assignment. As long as I get a C- that's all I need. I will figure it out like I always had since 1st grade!

So, I closed my eyes and jumped out of my comfort zone... WAY OUT!  I unexpectedly experienced anxiety that I never felt before and did not know one could feel! And THAT, my friends is why I now specialize in anxiety.
My new story today is that my anxiety challenge was a gift. Instead of it being something that happened to me, I now see it as something that happened for me. I needed to breakout of my prison cell. The prison cell that I now know that I created. Since then I have accomplished things I never would have imagined and if you personally know me I bet we can converse about 1 or 100 terrifying moments of my phobic past!  Do I ever experience anxiety today? YES of course I do!  But, now I know that anxiety is not the scary monster it wants me to think it is.

I sometimes still dream at night of walking down the halls of my high school, but now instead of crying I'm just on to my next class.

Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R is a certified cognitive therapist, strategic interventionist, relationship educator, board certified health coach and soon to be author. 
Learn more about Peg and her services: 
www.PegHaust.com  
www.LiveMoreCoach.com