Showing posts with label Holistic Psychogtherapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holistic Psychogtherapy. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Happy NO MORE RESOLUTIONS New Year!

Resolutions Be Gone!  

Have you been thinking about what you want to change, start or end this January? New Year resolutions are popular, but like diets they don't work. January is a great time for fresh starts, but that is very different than a resolution. Resolution means to resolve to do something "once and for all." What did you resolve to do last year? Is it on your list again? I want to share something different for you this year. Something that is just as fresh, but way more fun! 

I really look forward to this yearly ritual.  Use the steps below to kick start your dreams and goals and then next year and every year moving forward, it will be a tool to keep momentum going, not to resolve, but to reflect, assess, test, reassess and grow

Here I am hunkering down with favorite pen in hand, great music playing, homemade NOG, (do you like my Ball canning jar wine glass?) all of last year's notes and calendars along with new ones, and of course the boys right beside me.  Join me!







7 STEPS TO SUCCESS! 


1. Get Ready. Create your own comfy space that's inspiring and comfortable for you. Give yourself at least a couple hours of uninterrupted time. Shut off the phone and remove all distractions. This is your time, you deserve it! 

2. Identify Your "Whats" Identify an area(s) of your life that you would like to see change and/or grow for the coming year. Do you want to get serious about your health this year? Do you want to buckle down financially? Maybe you want to focus on a personal development goal.  Write down the area of life you chose and then rate yourself on a 0-10 scale where you are now. For example, 0 is not met at all, and 10 is exactly where you want to be. 

3. Describe Your 10:  You can make it a list or a descriptive paragraph. Be specific and ask yourself:  "How will I know I reached my 10? 
Example:
Health 0-10  Current score 5
What's my 10? I will know that I reached my 10 when... I feel more consistent energy throughout the day, experience restful sleep, have lost 10 lbs.  Make your goals reasonable and attainable. You don't want to set yourself up for the impossible and hurt yourself trying to get there. On the other hand, don't limit yourself. Too often people way underestimate what is possible for them. Is that you? Ask yourself: "Do I know of anyone that has started where I am and has accomplished similar results?" If they can do it, so can you! 


4. Identify Your Reasons. Once you have narrowed down a list of things you want to accomplish in the year ahead, WHY do you want that? Motivation works, but it's temporary. That is exactly why resolutions don't work. This is an important step you cannot leave out so read this carefully... 
Having great reasons will continuously pull you forward. Without them you will eventually and slowly walk back to where you started again. 

Ask yourself: What will your life look like when you reach your goal? How will it affect you? How will it benefit you? What will it mean to others in your life? What will it mean for your life? Not just this year, but forever!

Tweet! "For lasting change, know your reasons to get you through the seasons." @PegHaust 


5.  Calendar Time! Get out the calendars. I still like good ol' pen and paper. I like the planners that show the whole month with the days of the month having large squares for lots of writing space. Set a date and affirm your intention: 
By February 15, I will have released five pounds.  By May, I will be at my ideal weight of... AFFIRM: "I easily maintain a healthy lifestyle that supports me and my family."

6. Commit AND Take Action. What do you need to do?  Whose support do you need? Make a list of SIMPLE and SPECIFIC action steps to reach your goal. 



My Personal Example:
  • 20 to 45 minutes of exercise: Sun, Mon, Fri, Sat mornings. 
  • Take a few 1 minute meditation breaks at my desk during work.
  • Hold a 30 second to 2 minute plank (yoga pose) during commercial breaks and periodically at my desk during work.
  • Do a whole food cleanse to learn how to eat healthy and jump start my goal.
  • Drink 1 homemade green smoothie every week day.
  • Dance breaks! Great bursts of fitness while cooking and writing blogs :) 
  • Drink water! Drink full glass of water before a.m. coffee and have a water bottle (with lemons) on my desk throughout the day. 
I tend to be a list maker. It works for me. But, don't get overwhelmed by your list! Chunk it down and give yourself "done by dates" and don't list too many things for one day. Also, I can't emphasis routine enough. Plan a routine and follow it. By 20-30 days you should be in the groove nicely. Anything and everything can become a routine. Make sure your routines are good for you! Repetition is key.  

7. BE FLEXIBLE! You know what they say about the best laid plans... If things go off course, that is okay! This example showed how to get started, but when you do this every year it is also time for reflection. It a time to celebrate every success large and small, and a time to assess and reassess. Look at what worked and look at what didn't. There is no failure, only feedback. Learn from what happened, test and measure and continue on.  

Try these 7 steps for any and all areas of your life: Health, fitness, finances, personal development, relationships, retirement planning, new life transitions, anywhere you want to grow. And make sure you focus on simple, doable and FUN or else you won't do it and you know it! 

Extra tip: Be aware of your stinkin thinkin; self defeating thoughts that make you want to give up (and they will show up!) "Oh, this won't work, I've tried this before, this is too hard!"  You create your experience and emotional state with your thoughts.  Like a basketball, catch those thoughts and shoot them; don't hold the ball!  

Lastly, I'll say it again, remember the why behind your wants and then you will see them come into fruition. It's not about the end result, it's about continued growth. By designing your best life, you are not only enhancing your life, you are positively affecting your loved ones and everyone around you. You are creating progress that is not only good for you, but also inevitably good for all. 

It doesn't get better than that.

Have a wonderful time and please feel free to contact me. I would love to hear about your dreams and goals! 

 
Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R
Therapist, Coach, Author

Get a free excerpt from my book: Anxiety Breakthrough at my website! PegHaust.com

 

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Get Serious About Your Happiness

I think of myself as a happy person.  Now, I don't mean I'm happy all the time.  It's not that I never feel sad, frustrated, angry, hurt, scared, insecure......of course not. We need them all! Emotion is life and the good feeling ones come with the not so good feeling ones. I do believe, however, that we are meant to be happy and that it's necessary. With happiness at our core, we can pursue our true purpose in this life. So it's important and it makes sense to get serious about happiness. I suggest you decide to OWN it and drive that emotion into your core!

But how? How do you make happiness your "go to" emotion despite the dramas and traumas that we have all experienced and will inevitably continue to experience?  One way I have found is to hold happiness as one of my highest values. Most of us don't typically identify happiness as a value. We may identify family, friends, God, a strong work ethic, money, time for ourselves or contribution as values just to name a few. But, how these values show up in our lives, I believe, is directly related first, to the emotional states we value. So, if we don't highly value a great quality state of emotion like happiness or gratitude how can all those other values I mentioned be experienced positively and to their highest potential? I don't believe they can.
"There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion." Carl Jung
Here are come common happiness blockers. Really, they are just stories we tell ourselves don't buy them!
 Do you ever think or believe:
 "If I allow myself to be happy something bad will happen. If something bad happens I'll be devastated, it's better to be prepared."  (And I will prepare by worrying)
 "If I allow myself to feel and show happiness others might take advantage of me, or I might not be respected." (Happiness means weakness)
"I can't feel happy when everywhere I look people are so sad and struggling I would feel terribly guilty.  (Happiness is selfish)  
 We feel what we focus on, our experience of life is determined by the meaning we give things and the emotional states we choose to value.
There is so much we cannot choose in this life; so much we  have no control over. We cannot control what others do or say, we cannot control what they think of us or not think of us. We cannot control the all too real tragedy's that happen to people every day. BUT, we can 100% control the meanings we give all things, people, situations and events. We can choose our perceptions and our thoughts which ultimately create how we feel.  If we choose to value happiness, gratitude, joy, and peace (just to name a few) as our primary emotional values just think how that could impact all the other aspects of our lives, and the other great values we hold. It's a completely different world!  It's Freedom! the greatest value of all right? 

Happiness and gratitude: You need it, you deserve it, without it you won't grow or contribute to your true potential.   
  
It's holiday time again. I am always amazed how fast time flies. I always say that life is too short AND too long to feel stressed and unhappy all the time. Life is too good because it is! Where there is bad there is always good, where there is dark there is always light. What do you have to be happy about right now? What might you be taking for granted? The smallest things are most often the best things. What do you need to remember to feel happy and grateful? Dreading the family gathering? Shift that focus to what you can appreciate about the situation and the people. Don't leave anything out.


Right now, in this moment, see it, hear it, it's Thanksgiving, so smell it and taste it too!  NOW feel it! Got it? Feeling it?
I knew it; nothing bad happened! Now just do THAT feeling over and over and over.......  
You Got This!
Happy Thanksgiving! I am so grateful for YOU!!! 

Shine bright,
 Peg

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Peg Haust-Arliss, LCSW-R 
Holistic Psychotherapist, Anxiety Specialist and Life Strategist 
Visit my website and grab your free Stress and Anxiety Toolkit!