Shopping for a Therapist?

I love shopping! I don't care what it is, I'll offer to help my friends shop. Need a car? Oh, let me go online and research for you! Need to find the perfect dress? Please, let me go with you! Yes, I love to shop!
Shopping for a therapist? Well, maybe not so much.  But, I look at this this way....
When it comes to choosing a therapist or a life coach, finding the right one for you is like finding the right running shoes. Sometimes, off and running, you find a pair that fit just right.  But, sometimes you have to try on a couple pair and compare. Still other times, you have to run around the block a couple times.
Sometimes people finally cultivate the courage to make that call and try it out, but find it wasn't helpful and give up.  If that has happened to you, or if it ever does, don't give up! You made that call for a reason! Very likely, the person that wasn't a good fit for you is just right for another!

So, how do you begin?

I suggest, that before calling the prospective therapist/coach, ask yourself:

• What do I really want from sessions; what do I hope to gain?
• Why do I want that? How would my life look if I did accomplish it?
• What are my expectations for sessions and for the therapist/coach?
• What am I hoping to gain; support? direction? tools? skills?  
• What am I willing to contribute to the process?

The more specific you are about what you want the easier it will be to find the right fit for you.

Next, make a list of prospects and start calling! Don't be afraid to ask questions pertaining to how they can help you; afterall, they will have many questions for you!  You might ask:

• This is what I want to accomplish, have you had success helping others with this?
• Do you have a specialty?
• How often will we meet?

Don't forget to ask about payment and insurance too. And check out their website if they have one.
If you are comfortable, you can ask your family, friends, or doctor who they might suggest in your area.
Once you've made your initial phone/in person contact assess; did they welcome your questions and answer confidently? How did you feel after talking with them the first time?

REMEMBER, finding the right therapist/coach, like finding the right running shoe, is vital for comfort, performance, and results! So, if the shoe fits.......

It's Just Me

So, I have this friend, and every time she calls me to leave a message she says: "Hey Peg, It's just me...." in her kind, carefree voice.  I love you girlfriend, but...

"AAHH!! What do you mean it's JUST me!?

It's JUST me: REALLY?? Why must you minimize your importance!  Why do you constantly diminish your inherent power and beauty? How can you not realize your magnificence? Even the fact that you walk this earth is nothing short of a spiritual and scientific miracle! Oh, but it's just me.  YOU are unique! There is no other creature on this earth like you! Even identical twins are slightly different, but never mind that, it's just me.  If your parents never met, YOU, as you are, would not exist! YOU are a biological masterpiece!  YOU cannot be replicated! OMG, YOU are crazy! I am going to Kick Your Ass! Stop it! There is no JUST about YOU!! You ARE Love! You ARE special! You ARE Divine! You are One with the whole Universe!

However, if I have coached you, you know very well that NOTHING has meaning until meaning is given.  That being said, hmmm, what else could this mean?  Maybe it just means: "Hi Peg, call me."

The Curb of Perfectionism

Have you ever noticed that people aren't afraid to admit that they're perfectionists? Oh sure, they will sound guilty, "It's terrible, I am such a perfectionist" but they aren't really.  People don't feel bad telling others that "Sally is a perfectionist." In fact, it's meant as a compliment! It's like telling someone their too skinny. Would you be ok if you heard someone called you a skinny bitch behind your back? (love that book btw)  Or, if someone said: "OMG, Jane has the perfect marriage, perfect children blah blah blah... That's ok, just please, don't say I'm flawed, fat and messy right?  But, wait. Is implying that someone is a Stepford wife with a Stepford life really a great compliment? If you think YES please go watch the movie.
Seriously? I have never considered myself a perfectionist, because, believe me I know some pretty serious ones and that ain't me! But, what if I took a closer more honest look....Why do I put off writing blogs? Why haven't I started creating my workbook? I think: "Oh, I have to know this or do that first." Here's my best one: "I need to wait for warmer weather, because I'll be much more creative when I can sit outside and write!" Really? Procrastination is a hallmark sign of perfectionism! It whispers loudly: "If you can't do it perfectly, Peg, don't do it." What if they don't get it? What if they don't like it?"
Oh, and what about your quest for the perfect anti-wrinkle concoction or ultimate diet? Wait, sorry, that's me, not you. (I believe I now have the answer btw!) OK, OK, I'm not saying I'm not going to fight the good fight when it comes to the anti aging thing. I do have a good time with all that girl stuff! Those familiar with my coaching will point out that it does meet my six human needs on a very high level! But, truth be told, (read the next line slowly and mindfully) perfectionism is THE LOWEST standard to have because it's not humanly possible. It's an old cliche' "nobody's perfect." Isn't that annoying? Why? Because we know it's true, but we don't want to accept it. It reaches the depths of our two universal human fears that we all share: the fear of not being loved and the fear of not being enough.
So please, exuse me while I get ready to go to yoga where I will find peace within. Within, where I do not hide my beautiful lines of wisdom, nor my little tummy pooch that my husband, lucky for me, finds sexy. (my yoga teacher fondly calls hers a food baby; lv that!) Within, where I commune with God and find gratitude for all in my life. Within, where I understand that I am enough. Within, where real perfection exists in us all. Namaste, beautiful perfect souls......
for tomorrow......
I will enjoy a day with mother to celebrate Mother's Day with a glass of wine and a pampering pedicure. Saturday, a day at Kim's Creations where I will receive a glorious red mane of curls that seem to magically vanish the years away (Thanks Kim!) Later, I will laborously clean my office preparing for a fun champagne on ice jewelry party. OK, you know what? I don't call my biz live perfectly, but I do call it Live More! So, I encourage you, no I dare you, to move from the dark world of perfectionism and strive UP! Upward reaching toward the edge of excellence instead of falling down, down to the lowly curb of perfectionism. Feel the difference!  We live, We learn, We grow. I am too.
"Come to the edge, he said. They said; we are afraid. Come to the edge he said. He pushed them...and they flew."

I would love to hear from you! How would your life be different if you got off the curb?